Love is a thing that lives in us. It flows through us and throughout the universe. Love is the creator of all things and yet seems to be so elusive. Love is what connects us and binds us to everything alive. Yet, at times, it is a thing I fear. A thing that seems foreign to me at times. A strange separation that calls up within me both a longing and a need to flee. I feel as if I love all things, all people... but then I do not trust that the love shall be returned.
Should I expect it to? Should love be an expectation I give to the world in return for my own sentimental regard? I don't believe it to be. I yearn to be free from the idea that love must be a reciprocation. Let my love flow outwardly to all without an ill thought as to the origin of the love I wish to receive.
Let the love I feel come from me. Let me love me. So that the deep desperation within is fulfilled and I do not have to seek fervently to quench my thirst with another. I am enough. I certainly am, though perhaps I have yet to fully accept this perception into the realms of my reality.
Quite simply put, I am afraid to be loved. I don't trust it anymore. I want to... but in the meantime I will do my best to love. Maybe someday, I'll trust in love again. Until then, I'll do my best to live and and appreciate what comes into my life.... Just as I celebrate the exposure of the lies... for they set me free.
