Sincerely

I love my husband... soon to be ex-husband. I really do. I always will. I cannot unlove him. I do not know whether to classify this as tragically romantic or tragically stupid. Either way, it is as true as true can be....

We were going to renew our vows this year on our anniversary... or as close to it as possible. And we were going to do it at a gay pride festival. This is what I wrote with full intentions of using it as my wedding vow.

"To my husband: I love you. I love you from a place so deep, I cannot even explain it. I love you. I love all of you. I love your insides and your outsides. I love your flaws and your imperfections. I love your soul. I love your smile. I love your nerdiness. I love your gayness. You are my best friend, my lover, my husband, my soul-mate. I promise that I will never leave your side. I promise to have hot kinky sex with you until the day I die. I will always be there to wipe away your tears. I will be there to chase away the doubts and fears that linger in the darkness. I promise to always let you be you. Who you are is precious. You deserve to be exactly who you are. Never let anyone make you feel ashamed. I promise to help you put the pieces together. I promise that I will be there through all the pain. I promise I will share all the happy times. I know, in my heart of hearts, that we have something special. We have something that no one else has. It transcends everything we’ve ever been taught about love. Forgive me when I try to hide myself from you. I try to keep all my pain for myself. I’m greedy like that. You have my eternity. No matter where life and time may take us, I’m yours. I will follow you from this life into the other. If I go first, I will wait for you. Whatever you need, just ask and I will do my best to see it happens.  I look forward to our adventures of life. My love for you is infinite. Let’s do this mother fucker!!!!"

I was ready... I was ready to do what I thought was going to be the hardest thing I'd ever do. Little did I realize that it was only the beginning of how hard shit would be. You know... when you do something just so you can have something you want? *Spoiler Alert* Sometimes you give everything and you end up with exactly what you feared the most.

"We often meet our fate on the road we take to avoid it" - Master Oogway (Psst: Kung Fu Panda, Y'all!)

So we have the discussions about how this whole open relationship thing will work. We open it up to women for me and men for him. Seeing as I am bisexual/pansexual (Surprise Folks!), even though I've yet to actually have sex with a woman. I could have lived my whole life perfectly satisfied with my man. Later on, the arrangement would be opened up so that I could be with men or women. Stay tuned! Anyways... we have to find a medium in which to explore this newfound relationship framework. This is where the discovery of Grindr comes into play.