Moving on

I'm back but I'm not making any promises. I'm flaky af... I know... I KNOW!!!! Anyways. I've been using this Galaxy Tarot app on my android phone. It's pretty cool. It gives me a special message everyday as well as many different spreads to utilize. 

Card of the Day

The need arises for one to take a look deep into oneself. Today, the tarot has called me to look deeply into myself. 

Ten Of Swords

The Ten of Swords has quite a jolting visual going on. Personally, swords are my least favorite tarot cards. Some can be positive but I'm just not a big fan... especially with all the blood and stabby stabbiness going on.. Not really wanting this card to be representing any day I could possibly have. I mean, don't get me wrong... I've had days like this. Proverbial long swords thrust through my back. Not fun. So... why this? Why today. Let's investigate

The galaxy tarot app had the following to say:

Today's Message

"It is time to admit that something is over. It's time to let it go. Stop thinking about it. There is no need to get the last word. Let it go and move on. If you don't you will only be dragging out your own suffering. Something new is awaiting you! Create space and let it in!"

Now, I believe this is something that is stemming from my current living situation. I live with my mom and step-dad. I've lived here for over 2.5 years. Ever since the destruction of my family life, the gay husband, and the divorce. I've been here. I am kind of scared of being out of my own. Recently, I have been kind of in an upheaval of sorts.... Emotionally speaking. I haven't exactly been taking care of my finances like I should be... Don't judge me! It's never been my strong point. I have neglected several months worth of monetary installments to my mom that go to repayment of the money I had to get divorced with. It also goes towards electricity. I've really got to get my shit together, regarding money. I'm totally at fault and a piece of shit for neglecting my financial obligations to my mom. I need to do something about that.

Well, we've also had some disagreements about certain religious/spiritual affairs. We don't exactly see eye to eye. I'm not exactly forthcoming with the exact nature of my beliefs. But my mom knows that they do not align with hers. I feel bad for putting her through such distress, because she worries for the safety of my eternal soul. I just do not see it in that light. We will eventually go into more detail about all of that.... but for now we will save the tawdry details for another day. *wink wink* Suffice it to say that nature is my temple and I feel connected to the earth in ways that you may not understand (or you know exactly what I'm talking about.)

Anyways... I need to move. For my sanity, and my parents. They worry. I get it. But being almost 39 years old and being expected to report to my mother about my precise whereabouts and times of arrival seems a bit like I'm in high school. So, it is time to move... The universe has basically been screaming this to me for over a year now, though various avenues... including the tarot. The Death Card stalks me so.... Yeahhhh....